


let your colors bleed and blend with mine

by katana_fleet



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katana_fleet/pseuds/katana_fleet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Who is River Song?” was the question that had haunted his mind since she flew through space from the Byzantium. She landed in his arms without so much of a “sorry, pardon me”, just an intense stare and “follow that ship” as if she expected something else from him. Then she started flying his ship nearly as well as he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let your colors bleed and blend with mine

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'crystals' by of monsters and men. nothing is mine. eleventh doctor introspective about who river song is. this was written probably almost two years ago now, but i was going through old documents and this was finished so... have at it.

The Doctor found himself bored one afternoon. He’d just dropped the Ponds off in Leadworth after their apparently Most Excellent Honeymoon on a cruise spaceship and he’s bored. No Ponds, no River, no one except for him and the TARDIS. Admittedly, the TARDIS, despite his unfailing love for the sexy old girl, is not a good conversationalist.

Bored Doctor means one of two things: run off and find someone or wait for something to come to him. So he decided to go have an adventure.

This adventure ended, as most do, with much running and shooting (not by him, of course, _eww_ , guns) and yelling and just a bit of kissing. Not his fault that the Duchess of Aerotrei had been without a husband for ten years and that she pretty much pounced on him while he was running from her chief adviser, who happened to be a Zygon disguised as an innocent Aerotreyan adviser.

Sadly, this didn’t relieve his boredom, even though he did get quite the adrenaline rush when he was running and running and the TARDIS opened her doors and tried to leave him on the planet. Nothing like a threat of being left on Aerotrei (a planet of grass and boredom and diamonds) to make an old Time Lord run faster. He’s sitting in his swing under the console, pouting at the bullet hole in his tweed sleeve, when his mind started to wander.

Of course, his mind was always wandering. This regeneration has a terrible time of keeping his mind on something for longer than five minutes, he noticed quickly. But his mind doesn’t always wander into the dangerous realm of River Song as it did this day.

“Who is River Song?” was the question that had haunted his mind since she flew through space from the _Byzantium_. She landed in his arms without so much of a “sorry, pardon me”, just an intense stare and “follow that ship” as if she expected something else from him. Then she started flying his ship _nearly_ as well as he could.

He suddenly sprang up from the swing and ran to find a piece of paper and a pen. He finally found one under a pair of high heels suspiciously River-like in his bedroom. Blushing with the implications, he ran back out and sat in his captain’s chair. In Gallifreyan, he wrote WHO IS RIVER SONG, his pen starting to bleed all over the place halfway through “SONG.”

  1. Back to front relationship?



This was the first thing about Professor/Doctor River Song. She knew him _so_ well that first time in the Library when she—died. His firsts are her lasts. He stopped scribbling for a moment and stared at the paper. That presumably also meant his lasts were her firsts. This would be complicated.

  1. Name



She knows (or will know) his name. There’s only one reason he would ever tell anyone his name. There’s only one time he could. And she’s the one reason, the one time. Why her?

  1. Hello sweetie



Not much in the universes terrifies the Doctor. Daleks, if they catch him on a bad day. The crack in Amelia’s wall. But those two words do. Because it means she loves him. She knows him. And she expects him to love and know her. Love. That terrified the Doctor and he curled up in the chair, just staring at the Gallifreyan until it blurred and twisted and turned like gears in a watch.

He couldn’t think about anything for a minute and so folded his paper and stuffed it into his pocket. It would probably turn up again sometime.

The Doctor frantically searched for the list one afternoon in the TARDIS, not long after America. He had been to pick up River for a not-date and the TARDIS broke down (so he said. River claimed he had been working too much on the wires and put something back together wrongly) and they were fixing her under the console together. As River was twisting some wires back together, a spark from one of his wires hit her hand and she cursed softly.

This wouldn’t have been unusual. But as he was putting a bandage on her burned hand and she was staring up at him with an expression somewhere between absolute adoration and abject fear, he realized that her words hadn’t been in English. Not in any other common language, either. More like Gallifreyan. Without thinking about it, he murmured something close to “I love you.” Why those words, he wasn’t going to wonder. It would be best for his limited sanity if he didn’t. Because he didn’t. Love her. Right? He couldn’t.

She gasped and peered at him even closer. He was just about to speak—YOU KNOW GALLIFREYAN HOW CAN YOU KNOW GALLIFREYAN—when her face smoothed over once more and she merely thanked him for the bandage. Her goodbye kiss may have been a bit more… heated than usual, but he didn’t care at all (he possibly made it the longest kiss he had ever engaged in, including that One He Doesn’t Talk About) and he really couldn’t or shouldn’t think about why.

Insides flipping like a really fast Ferris wheel—the ones on the planet Ferris, actually—he plopped down in his chair and, running out of places the list could be, thrusts his hand into his pocket. Immediately he feels the paper and yanks it out, finding the pen still attached to it.

  1. SHE CAN SPEAK GALLIFREYAN



Still shocked at this development, he sat and stared down at the paper. Of course, he really already knew that. She had burned “hello sweetie” into the home box of the _Byzantium_. That was Gallifreyan. But he had never heard her speak it. So few could speak it—himself. That was all. And obviously this human woman River crazy lady who tosses herself out of ships and kisses really well. “Stop it,” he muttered as he slapped his own cheek.

He jumped up and, shoving the paper back into the pocket, took the TARDIS to a medieval castle. He ought to go show off for Amelia and Rory again, anyway. They might be entertained. And he was bored. Very bored.

Demons Run came quickly. River arrived too late. And as she spoke (and now they’ve taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they’re going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down), his mind was racing, burning, wondering, knowing that today’s the day he finds out who she is.

And the words are so simple. He leaves before she outright says it but he _knows_.

It’s me. I’m Melody. I’m your daughter.

That’s who River Song is. Daughter of Amy and Rory Williams. Child of the TARDIS. The words of Gallifrey running through her veins just as time runs through his.

He runs to her as soon as he knows.

He pulls her into his arms and kisses her—

She laughs and returns the kiss—

He stares down at her knowing eyes—

And she is _beautiful_.


End file.
